Green is not an attractive color on anyone

We all have it. That one friend that always believes that, no matter what, they are correct. That they have this amazing set of core values and can do no wrong. They also have your back no matter what happens – if there is any altercation between you and anyone, they are 100% there for you, and are willing to get into fights with people they don’t even know if it is your defense. Even if you are fundamentally wrong, they will find a way to make it so you are right. This person is also somehow always slightly better than you at everything. It is almost as though it is a natural order for them to consistently come in first. But what happens when you finally come out on top? How supportive are they then? Are they able to be truly happy for you when you have accomplished something great?

I am encountering this very problem.

One of my “best friend’s”, Chloe (whose name has obviously been changed for this, but in this post and all future ones that is what I will call her), is that very person I just described. She has had my back in many situations, though sometimes more drama has been caused than what was necessary. I always liked that she would be there for me – being from a more aggressive city, and being proud of it, it was nice to have someone that strong by my side. I am more of a kill-them-with-kindness kind of person, so sometimes it was nice to have that aggression in my defense.

I never cared much about grades. In advertising, no one really cares about that bullshit. I don’t care if I understand accounting or finance or everything in my music class. I just wanted to graduate with over a 3.0. Trust me, this was incredibly WEIRD at the college I attended, where everyone hyperventilated over an A-. Chloe was one of those types of people. While I was more than content to get back my B’s, she would go in and cry to professors over her A- paper in an effort to get that A. So, in terms of grades, she was leaps and bounds better than me. But I never minded.

[caption id="attachment_66" align="alignright" width="235"] Friends forever?[/caption]

We took an advertising class together – a class I had my eye on since my admittance to my college. The day before the class began, Chloe was debating if she even wanted to take it, but I convinced her it was a good idea and that it would be a lot of fun. When the first day of class arrived, we needed to elect a student president to lead us during the entire course. I undoubtedly ran for that position. I mean, this class was one of the main reasons I chose this school, leading it would be an amazing experience for me. Chloe also decided to run for president, clearly for the leadership role it would allow her to write on her resume. Not only did she get the presidency, I was not elected to ANY board position to lead, and there were 5 of them. Talk about a soul-crushing experience. While it was difficult for me to deal with at first, I sucked it up and did the class. I was supportive of Chloe and her leadership and never let that wane out.

Chloe also got a job before me. I was so happy for her (mainly for 2 reasons, 1- any time anyone in the advertising/PR industry got a job at that point, it gave me hope; and 2- I knew we weren’t competing for any of the same positions that I was applying to). She got a healthcare PR gig. Not the most exciting thing in the world, but healthcare is a great base for all future endeavors because of all the regulations that come with that industry. Anyways, we had a great time celebrating, and I was excited (I knew that I had some big opportunities arriving in the future and I was excited to celebrate my employment in the same way).

When I found out that I made it past the preliminary interview for the job I am starting in a week and a half, I was ECSTATIC. This company is beyond huge, and the account I was interviewing for was so exciting. I felt like I needed someone to pinch me to wake me up. When I shared the news with Chloe at lunch one day, she was un-amused. She hardly asked any questions, and the one-sided conversation about the position was over in less than 2 minutes. It was one of the most disappointing things I had ever experienced in my life. I was so genuinely excited for her when she got her job. Buying drinks, telling everyone around me, tweeting a huge congrats message, didn’t I deserve the same excitement?

[caption id="attachment_70" align="alignleft" width="211"] Will things ever be the same again?[/caption]

I stopped talking to Chloe about the second-round interviews I had for the position. She would ask me via text how everything was going in attempts to be supportive, and I would reply, but no response would come through on her end. And when I got the job, all I got was a text, “Congrats”.

Who knew silence could speak so loud? We didn’t go through the same celebration for my employment. No fun girls night with our close group, no celebratory tweets, no big announcements to those around us when we all went out that weekend. Now that I had something better than her, it was as though this giant green monster had overtaken Chloe, and it appeared as though there was no sign of it leaving.

The giant elephant is still in the room. Chloe and I are still close, but now there is something there that I cannot just put out of my mind. As long as she comes out on top, Chloe is 100000% supportive of me like a true friend. However, when I am given an amazing opportunity, when my hard work finally pays off, when I get something that is so much better than what she has, she shuts everything down. Is that a true friend? A friend worth having?

I’m not sure what the answer is. But jealously is an ugly thing. Letting it show could be the greatest fault a person can have. I honestly don’t know what is going to happen to us when we move to New York.

<3, Charlotte